The Demise of The Oppossum


As I was wending the family truckster down the street, taking Sean to school (because he refused to get on the bus 😦 We passed an opossum playing “possum” in the middle of the street. Or maybe not, there was a small amount of spatter, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Anywho, I told Stevie “Betcha when we come back that sucker is either gone, or has changed positions” and gave a brief explanation of opossum behaviors.

Come home, lo and behold: Street empty. I tell Stevie (and Bella busily sucking her nuk) ‘See bud? He’s off to his family!” all the while I see the creature on the causeway, probably the recipient of a friendly neighborhood shovelin’.

From Steven’s bedroom window there is a fantastic view of aforementioned causeway. Steven shouts….”Hey Mom! Todd is by his driveway looking at……………I see the possum, I see the possum! You were right mommy he WAS playing!”

I join Steven at his window and see Todd, (across the street neighborhood) contemplating the gray beast, his head cocked to one side. Poor Todd, I think. Poor, poor Todd. Glad its you and not me. Dead? Not dead? Dead? Not dead? Do I whack it with a shovel? Back over it with the car? Hmmmmmm loud neighborhood kid watchin’, best just go to work. And with a wave Todd hops into his truck and is off.

Crud. Thinks I. He left the thing there. For Stevie to ponder from his bedroom window. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO dootododooooooooo The Department of Sanitation to the Rescue!! Todd came through, apparently having made the all important phone call for “dead animal removal” prior to his departure.

Mr. Sanitation Man walks over to the…carcass? And tilts his head to one side much like neighbor Todd. Quite a conundrum this opossum proves to be. Dead? Not Dead? Dead? Not Dead? Mr. Sanitation Man gets on his radio and calls someone. Some magical determiner of Dead or Not Dead Opossums.
Soon he is joined by the Dept of Animals…or whatever.  Get ready for this……..wait for it, wait for it…………as Stevie and I are watching, by this time placing bets over the fate of the….thing….Ms. Dept of Animals TAKES OUT A GUN and SHOOTS it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TWICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“It’s dead now” says she. Jumps in her van and drives off. Mr. Sanitation Man picks up the now fer shur dead possum by the tail and flings him into the back of his truck.
Steven is horrified. And I don’t know what to say to him.

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