Cynthia's Cyberspace

As a Christian woman, I have left cursing, the use of offensive and uneducated word choices in my unrefined and secular past. There are however, a few instances where colorful curse words will be forced from my lips reflecting the true feelings of my heart. They are, almost without fail, when I stub my toe and when trying to free a child’s toy from theft deterrent packaging.

Never is my frustration level as high as when I am doggedly trying to make my way through an unending stream of well intentioned gifts that contain fuzzy little animals or plastic toys imprisoned by wire ties coated in thick plastic, twisted so many times or in such a way that it is impossible to undo without wire cutters. Why is this necessary? Is there a major conspiracy underway that deems the ownership of a $5.00 toy so attractive that the theft of it is a certainty? Are they in danger of being resold in dark alleys behind liquor stores? Some wacky Barbie enthusiast has surely been put out of business by his inability to free his beautiful prize from her cardboard prison held hostage in the middle of aisle 12 in Toys R Us.

Next to the barbaric wire ties on the frustration meter are the jewel cases containing Compact Discs that are taped so viciously they may as well be super glued shut. What is the point? Is Raffi really in that much demand? The tape doesn’t come off easily in one long strip, that I might actually enjoy, one long smooth movement freeing the music from its plastic home. It comes of in tiny little fragments no bigger than your pinkie nail making it a long and arduous process to set free. It took me 20 minutes and a steak knife to get the experience behind me.

It must be some kind of a joke. Like pantyhose. Let me know when we get to the punch line.